Sort of a cautionary commentary on a current event.

If you are in distress, feeling suicidal, or having difficulty managing the feelings you have about this tragedy or anything else in your life, please call 1-800-273-8255.  The folks at the other end of the hotline are there to help you.  There is no shame in asking for help.  Don't be afraid.  CALL.


With that said, I figure I might as well blog about this current event.  I can't really comment much on the details because I have not watched one news story. I've not read one article, even on the internet.  The only information I have has been gathered from snippets and pieces of conversations, on FB mostly.  I don't know the shooter's name.  I'm not even entirely sure it was a man, though I assume so so I'll say "he" when referring to the shooter in the connecticut school shootings.  I don't know the name of the school.  I don't know how many victims there are (though I've caught that there are a lot).  I haven't heard the circumstances and I've shielded myself and my children as best I can from the commentary.  This blog is my outlet.  It is the best way for me to communicate, put my own thoughts down, and cope.  I'm a helper, not a talker.  I prefer to do rather than say.  That'll be clear as you read, I'm sure.


As a future mental health professional (with a first hand knowledge base, more than your average person), I get that some people need to discuss this tragedy.  Talking is a way to help ourselves make sense of something.  The more nonsensical it is, the more we need to talk about it.  The closer you are to a tragedy, the less you want to say (or think) about it, but for those not directly involved, talking helps.


That being said, I'd like to encourage everyone to turn off the news.  Stop reading the stories.  Stop engaging in debate and commenting on news sites and facebook posts.  Just stop.  You'll thank me later for this advice, I promise.


The purpose of media is to SELL THINGS.  Our society, like it or not, thrives on sensationalism.  We feel entitled to KNOW.  We justify this in ways that make sense to us.  I've already heard the arguments.  Let's go through them one at a time.


1.  If you don't watch the news about this tragedy, you don't really care about these poor kids!  False.  I care deeply about children and people in crisis.  I bet you do too.  Maybe you haven't devoted your life to helping those in need, but I seriously doubt you feel nothing.  You don't have to know every detail of this tragedy to KNOW it was sad, bad, horrific, scary.  This is the same argument as "If you don't support this war you don't care about the troops".  That doesn't even make sense, and neither does "if you don't know every sordid detail about the shooter you can't feel bad for these families".


2.  If you don't know the news your kids are at risk!  False.  My children are no more or less safe than they were a year ago, a week ago, a day ago.  Tragedy exists.  It's out there and it has always been out there. There is no tank-o-tragedy that fills up until it overflows like the water bucket at the water park that my kids love to watch but are terrified to step under.  There are unknown numbers of buckets.  We can't possibly know which one will overflow next, and who will be under it.  For some this is a terrifying thought.  For me it is comforting.  We're just alive.  Every moment of every life is at risk.  There's no way around it.  If you can't beat it, join it.  Would victims of car accidents say "I wish I'd never, ever gotten into a car?".  I doubt it.  I know that seems insensitive, but when you think about it, it makes sense.


What I'm trying to say is, fear sells.  Fear and sadness are 2 different things.  Most of us can handle fear.  We can manage sadness.  Sometimes when you put the 2 together, things seem overwhelming. There is no right or wrong way, universally speaking, to handle a tragedy such as this.  My advice is classic.  Keep it simple.  Turn off the TV.  Don't read another news story.  Focus on what is important, try to forget the rest.  Ask yourself "how does knowing this information benefit me".  If the answer is "it doesn't", move on.  TURN OFF THE TV.  Be sad, talk about it, share yourself so others will feel comfortable sharing with you, protect yourself, don't be afraid to grieve individually.


I know this rambles a bit, but I hope you can follow where my heart thinks my head is going.