There just are no words.

I feel all discombobulated. I know this has several reasons. For 1, I'm insanely busy. Although, the kind of insanely busy I am doesn't usually FEEL that busy, it just looks that busy. I still feel like I have time for me, most days, and that it's all carefully choreographed. Since this is not usually how I live my life, I'm baffled at how swimmingly well this is working so far and I'm jittery waiting for it to unravel. On the other hand, perhaps I've just gotten good at managing what is most important and letting the other stuff go. This is certainly a skill everyone should learn, though I'm not sure it's a process that can be sped up. It happens how it happens, sort of like an epiphany.

Speaking of important, I feel like I'm not ever good enough. No, that's not it. I feel like other people don't think I'm good enough. I do feel a lot of pressure to be everything to everyone. I have done a fantastic job at learning how to manage that. I've been the kind of person my whole life that wants to make everything better. That kind of person often draws situations that need fixing. So anyway, I'm pretty good at fixing what I can without breaking myself. I just kind of feel like nobody acknowledges that I'm doing well. Then I feel guilty and whiny that I need outward recognition for being a good person. Shouldn't being a good person be enough for me? Meh, anyway, I'll make you all a deal. Sometimes a girl (or guy) needs to hear "good job, thanks for doing that" from someone. I'll try to make sure those little nuggets of support are given freely by me if you'll try to do the same for those around you. Yeah? We'll call it the "make-everyone-feel-good-inator" and maybe we'll make it on to Phinneas and Ferb.

And by the way, telephone crisis hotlines save lives every day. EVERY DAY, sometimes several in one night for one crisis worker. They may not be what every caller needs, but they can change the lives for the better for callers and crisis workers alike. Have you hugged a crisis worker today?