My life is a dessert plate.

My life is a dessert plate and it's heaped with delicious chunks of sweet life. Unfortunately I am desperately trying to keep even a tiny crumb from falling over the edge and onto the floor. My life is delicious, but I think I'm fat enough. Winnie starts school in just days. I have mixed feelings and misgivings and butterflies in my tummy about this. It's all me. She's excited and happy. I am too. I feel good about sending her there. I feel anxious about where to go from here though. I keep reminding myself that this is a fantastic opportunity for her and that it doesn't have to last forever. If we hate it, she can come home. So why am I so nervous? There was an altercation with a little boy at the picnic that has me, ummmm, not sure of the word. Cautious? I had this school and it's parents on some kind of pedestal. Not way way up above me on a pedestal, but higher than your typical parenting/schooling group. This little boy punched my daughter in the stomach, and in the back. I THINK they were playing and it got too rough and as little boys sometimes do this kid didn't know when to back off. That I can understand. However, when Winnie started crying and said she was going to her mama, this little boy held her down so she couldn't. THAT has me really bothered. I am bothered because, while I was nearby, I apparently wasn't paying nearly enough attention. And 2, nobody knew who this kid was (at least nobody standing nearby) so he got off without so much as a warning. And when Finn tried to help Winnie he punched Finn too. So yeah, I'm trying to let things fall as they may regarding this incident, but it was not the good start Winnie deserved, and school hasn't even begun yet. So yeah, a little guilt, a little worry, a lot of "am I doing the right thing".

I'd forgotten that this is the start of birthday season. I'm trying not to forget my brother's birthday. I also have my own coming up.

School starts for me in about a week and I'm nervous. Math. 'Nuf said. I am afraid to look at the books I need. I'm guessing $300 for 2 classes and hoping I'm guessing WAY too high.

The full moon last night was gorgeous and I wished with all my heart I had a baby sitter so dh and I could stroll underneath it and just reconnect. I feel disconnected and I'm sure it's my fault. I'm running in 700 different directions and most of the time not towards him. That sucks. I hate being that kind of wife.