An ode to stuff in my kitchen (a performance piece)

Oh Pampered Chef food chopper
how I'd love to own thee (the word thee is always in an ode)
but at $26 a pop
it can simply never be

blueberry cobbler at 6am
but wait!
tis (the word tis is always in odes too) in my cup I find you there
and not upon my plate

thankful still though week goes by
for turkey in my tummy
recipe here for what's tonight
doesn't it sound yummy?

and lastly, oh what joy there is (sarcasm evident in the performance)
a package lost in shipping
until you find the truck was robbed
now commence the laughing

and this, my friends, is my ode
to all things kitchen worthy
except for the package passage
whatever-whatever-something-that-rhymes-with-worthy (I'm taking suggestions for this brilliant last line)

Demonstrations of this reknowned piece are whenever somebody cares to brave this disastrous house with a visit. I'm in search of a real dancer or artiste to help me with some sticky points in the choreography, mainly all of it. I tried it in front of the kids who reviewed it simply with "maaaaaaa-maaaaaa, MOOOOOOVE you're BLOCKING CLIFFORD". A more compelling review has never been seen by the performance art community.