It seems like my life revolves around taking a stand, drawing a line in the sand, choosing a side, us -vs- them. I don't like it. I can't have a comment, an opinion, a bit of information to pass along, genuine concern, advice (even solicited) about anything without finding myself in conflict. I don't like it. Did I mention that already?
Maybe I'm just getting old (ha!). Or maybe it's just a sign of the times (now I sound old!). It's an age where each one of us is swirling in an individual sea of definitions and stances. I can't think of one thing I feel passionate about that isn't controversial and it is exhausting. It's passion-killing, really. Somebody on the other side of the thought is willing to be more passionate than I am, which just makes me recoil in frustration, and in the interest of protection.
Breastfeeding. Boom. Instant conflict, even though I am an educator and really just want to help the women who WANT help. You want to bottle feed, breastfeeding is gross, and you didn't make any milk. Whatever. Good for you for feeding your baby. If you want information or assistance, I'm your girl (or not, I know other girls, too, if you don't like me). If not, that's cool too.
Gay marriage. Boom. Instant conflict. Yay for those who are in love and want the world to know it! Why is that a controversial statement? Because somebody who is more passionate than I am wants it to be.
Non-vaccinating. Boom. Instant conflict. You are free to make your own decisions. You asked me why I don't. I told you. Why must I defend myself? I shouldn't need to (and you don't either, by the way, vax away my friend, I truly do not care!).
Homeschooling. Boom. Instant conflict. You're free to make whatever schooling choices you wish to make, as am I. I don't sit up worrying at night about all of the kids in public school. That would be the job of the parents. I worry a crap-ton about my own. I'm happy to share our experiences, if you ask. Why is that an invitation to argue?
Religion. BOOM. Instant conflict. This one is all-encompasing because ANYTHING can be turned to a religious argument. A. NY. THING. What really throws me on this one is that many folks KNOW ME. They know I am Pagan, that I am not Christian, that I do not, generally, agree with the way they conduct business. This is particularly frustrating because not agreeing doesn't mean I give a flip how you live your life. I really do NOT care, 99% of the time. Seriously. I don't. Go to church 3 times a day, stand on a corner with a bible, whatever floats your boat. Just afford me the same courtesy, please. I don't mean to single out Christians, either. It's just that I've never been challenged on my beliefs by a person of Jewish faith. Or Buddhist. Or Hindu. Or any of the other who-knows-how-many religions that are out there. I live in the bible belt, so I get the Christian perspective thrown at me A LOT. Sorry. And in Pagan circles, it's just as bad as the conflict between Christians who believe X and Christians who believe Y. There is no truth, people. There is only belief, and each of us is entitled to such things.
Healthy Eating. Boom. Instant conflict. Seriously. If I buy vegetables people seem to think I'm judging them for buying candy. I'm not. I probably bought candy yesterday, forgetting I also needed carrots. We choose not to drink soda (it is expensive, these kids can blow through it super fast, and with no value other than the experience on special occasions). Our son cannot have nitrates or nitrites. No idea if it really makes a health difference, but he did his own research and decided he'd like to try it as a means of controlling his ADD symptoms. Our desire to bring our own hot dogs to your cookout isn't an affront to you, I promise. Next up, artificial colors. That one is a doozy, and one that likely WILL make a difference for us all, but wow is that a pain in the arse to put into place. Hello doubling the grocery bill. Kraft Mac and Cheese (a super health food, ranks right up there with veggies, doesn't it?) is CHEAP, yo. The "all natural" alternative costs 3x more. And it doesn't taste good. This is one area I get crap from both sides. I'm buying corn. My health nut acquaintance says "but is it GMO corn?" and... Boom. Conflict. All I did was buy corn. Jeez. This is why I buy candy.
Politics. BOOM. Instant conflict. See "religion" above. Seriously, does it all have to be a political debate? It really doesn't. I truly don't know enough about any one issue to argue it effectively. I'm lazy and tired and busy and have a quadrillion other things to worry about. Politics, whatever your definition, isn't on my list, with very, VERY rare exceptions. If I support a cause (or appear to support a cause), it is because I feel something in my very personal being that propels me to a show of support. It's personal. I recognize that you likely have a similar reaction, except that I feel like many folks do not have any personal thought or belief driving their reactions. There tend to be a lot of knee-jerk, regurgitation of others' thoughts kinds of arguments started with me, and that'll shut me down quicker than anything. You really cannot argue with that. These folks have an answer for anything, and there is no limit to the absurdity. I'd prefer not to even go there.
I could continue on and on, but these are the conflicts I've encountered TODAY, already. It's not even "mid morning" and here I am, swirling in conflict. WTF? I blame social media, and this is causing me to seriously reconsider my attachment to technology, except that I use it every day to make my life better, so balance is the key. Apparently life has just shifted too far into the conflict side. With that in mind I'll go douse myself in "protection" and "grounding" oils from my favorite "alternative" store Herbs and Arts (on Colfax in Denver, CO), and get myself ready to go to work with breastfeeding moms who need me.
Peace and love my friends. If you take anything away from this blog post (other than "wow, she's a nutter"), let it be that we could all afford to be a little more gentle with each other (and ourselves) in our interactions. I'll do if you will ;).
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