I'm at a confusing crossroads.

I don't know that confusing is the word I am looking for. Well, maybe in some respects it is confusing. I have so much going on in my life. Not busy-body busy, but mentally busy. Lots of big changes. Some friendships at a stand still (confusion steps in here). I'm thinking hurt feelings but I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how to approach the topic and I'm not sure I want to (more hurt feelings there I'm sure but it's how I feel so I must say it). Big life changes on the horizon have me contemplating things like life and death, age and maturity. I've never felt closer to my husband than I do right now but it's taking longer than expected for him to respond. I'm not sure what response I was hoping for, but it hasn't hit yet so I'll let you know when it happens, lol. He's mentally busy too though, so I'll give him space (not my biggest personality strength, lol) and see where he comes out. This is my stance on friendships at the moment as well. Some have strengthened. I feel distinctly distanced from some others. I just sort of ride the waves and wait for the calm waters. I don't have the mental and physical energy to be more forthcoming than that, so the whole "if you love something set it free" thing comes into play here. I feel so junior high in this respect, but I can't shake the need to trim the energy around me. It's a coping mechanism I've used for a long time, and sometimes it hurts to do it, but survival is of the essence.

Enough of that sticky topic. Neall, it appears, is heading for Vet school. EEK! I am in full support of this choice. I think it's bloody brilliant actually. I have no doubt in my head that we can manage/survive the roller coaster ride because the end goal is an amazing prize. Stability. A full life. Choices and options and decisions. Respect. Pride. A house in the country (lol). We're about 90% sure this is happening. There are some hiccups that could pop up at any time, rendering this no longer do-able, but for now it's the best plan we've got.

In addition to mental business, we've got some big things coming up. Let me just run down the list in my phone calendar, shall I?

8/16 birthday party
8/20 Cub Scout Raingutter Regatta (haven't even bought the boat, much less started it)
9/3 Cub Scout thingie
9/13 Family Picnic with Jost
9/17 Cub Scout thingie
9/22 Gabaldon book comes out (must not read until 9/25!)
9/25 Arrive in Orlando (driving before that, haven't figured that out yet, lol)
10/1 Check out of Disney and drive home (2 days)
10/15 Cub Scout fall fest and campout (organized by me)(3 nights)

And that's just through October. We won't even go into the holidays. Ugh, lol. All fun, but all busy.