The kids are coming home for school next year. I'm just not cut out for this group schooling thing. The benefits the kids are getting could be achieved with a little effort on my part. The parts I don't like would be virtually eliminated immediately by keeping them home. Call me overprotective or drama-mama or whatever you want. I just can't do it. The primary cause for this last-minute change of heart is the money. It will cost us 5k out of pocket next year. That does not include the nearly 2k worth of "working" during lunch periods, summer camp, etc. In addition to all of that there are the numerous volunteer expectations that only a small handful seem to take seriously, leaving someone to pick up the slack. I'm one of those people who feels obligated to pitch in more than usual because I'm pitching in a relatively small amount of money. Then I start to feel used and underappreciated. And around we go.
So, for 8k Winnie and Finn can go to the Soulard School full time, Zella can go 2 mornings a week. In addition to the 8k (time and cash out of pocket) we also would need another car because our carpooling options go away next year. We also have clothes, shoes, coats, etc expenses that aren't necessary with them being at home. This isn't a lot, but it adds up. Snacks and lunches are an additional expense that I didn't realize would add up so quickly, but it really does.
Or, for 8k we can:
1. finish the kids rooms (paint and organization)
2. create a "school area" (organization)
3. put a computer together for the kids (for school work)
4. pay for private violin lessons and rental (or whatever instrument)
5. pay for online curriculum (a monthly fee)
6. have $ for outings and enrichment to curriculum
7. spend a week in Disney together as a family
This is just the beginning. The above list comes to about 4k (if that), which is about as much as we can reasonably come up with. I want to be able to say "we just have to sacrifice, it's worth it", but there isn't any more sacrifice to make. And I'm not sure it IS worth it. At some point I have to consider overall value. I've done all I can do to make the Soulard School a good option for our kids. We reached the peak though, and have gone over the other side. With the economy the way it is, it's just not the better option. I want to say "the soulard school is the best option". I just can't, because it is only the best option in one respect. No doubt the kids are thriving there. But that's not my only consideration. They can thrive at home too, and we can ALL thrive with them home, instead of just a few of us.
So on that note, BIG DEEP SIGH. It's bittersweet, but the decision feels less heavy than deciding to send them. I still have to run this all by Neall, make sure we're on the same page and all, but I suspect that we are.
2 comments:
Hugs, Gwen. I know this was a hard decision.
Incredibly hard. The other thing we considered was that this isn't the end of our commitment financially. We still have a ways to go before we reach our max, and still 2 kids to eventually be full time. If we can't do this amount NOW, then we definitely can't do twice as much, or even half again as much, when Z and O are in full time. It just makes more sense to bring them home now.
What's really bugging me is that people like me have to make this decision. In a perfect world excellent schooling would be affordable for everyone, no matter how many kids they have and no matter how much money they make.
Soulard School IS excellent, beyond excellent, schooling. It's just not within our reach financially. And that makes me angry at our society that undervalues education.
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