I hate that Oobleh feeling.

I have this anxious, icky, bleh, something is very wrong and I don't like it feeling. And, well, I don't like it. I hate it when things come crashing in around me when I'm actually feeling pretty good. I hate it when people assume things about me that are totally incorrect, just because I react or behave differently than they think I should in certain circumstances. I hate that I let things get to me when it's possible that nothing had anything to do with me at all. Unlikely, but possible. And I hate it when people around me are going through things that I can't fix for them. I doubly hate it when I know how to fix it, but I also know that it has to come from them. I hate letting myself get worked up. I hate being faced with a situation that tests my boundaries. I'm normally a full-steam-ahead kind of gal. I don't like my self-imposed, normally flexible boundaries actually stopping me from doing something I feel is right. It's not really right, it just feels like it should be, and the rude awakening of actually slamming into that boundary, regardless of it's typical flexibility, is not pleasant. Even more pleasant is the self control it takes to not go charging at it again, just to see if the justification to allow it to let me through is there this time. It's not there. The boundary stands.

So how's that for cryptic. Unfortunately for you all, that's about all you'll get, lol. I'm not sure I could put it into words any better than I could define the feeling that comes from it. Tumultuous, but not in a "save me" kind of way, that's my emotional state today.

Furthermore, the last time I got this way was about 4 days before 9/11. I find that ominous.