Life here is chaos as usual. Since I last posted we've done our annual camping trip (now more than annual, lol), camped twice as long as initially planned, battled the chicken pox (we hope), had several birthdays, got down to the nitty-gritty at school, visited with out of town family and on top of all of that, maintained the usual level of chaos.
Winnie is now the proud owner of an American Girl doll. She asked for (begged for) it from everyone who might possibly give her money, lol, and got enough. Megan (Winnie named her) arrived on Wednesday. I'm babysitting right now. I remember getting a Cabbage Patch doll for my 9th birthday and asking the lady who cared for my bro and I to "take good care of her" while I was at school. I remember very vividly the horror and anger I felt when I found her right where I left her after school. That babysitter did NOTHING for my precious baby. Didn't feed her, didn't play with her, didn't even let her watch tv. Just left her laying on the table all day. :shudder:. I vowed never to do that to my daughter. I never imagined I'd actually have to follow through, rofl. So here I sit, typing, while Megan watches Clifford in the baby seat with her tiny Barbie doll from a McD's happy meal (just the right size, I might add), her pet monkey (bigger than Megan), and a sippy cup. Yes, I'm off my rocker. But I promised whatever greater power you want to give credit to that I would NEVER leave a precious baby to fend for themselves like that evil babysitter did to my precious baby doll.
I am now the ROOM MOM for Finn's class. I'm actually quite excited. I'll be working with his teacher to keep her classroom running smoothly, making copies, organizing books, whatever she needs. I'm quite looking forward to this because it means I get to absorb her knowledge and ideas regarding teaching. I'm gearing up to start actual education courses in the spring and can't wait to pick Brandy's brain for ideas and insight. She's not yet aware of my intentions yet (muahahaha) but she won't mind. I also have the benefit of her being a young teacher. This is her second year of teaching and therefore she hopefully remembers school to some extent. I'm hoping to find some balance between traditionally taught education models and more progressive/non-traditional models like this school follows.
Speaking of school. My transfer to UMSL is nearly complete. I should know what the deal is with how many credits transfer in about 2 weeks. This will be just in time to register (after meeting with an advisor). Somewhere between now and then I have to schedule an appointment for a campus tour. I had scoffed at the idea, but then I thought to myself "self, you might as well go and see where everthing is, that way you don't look like a 17yo Freshman on campus blundering around like an idiot". I surprised myself by caring what I look like to other students. But, I feel how I feel, no sense denying it.
Along that vein, I have noticed a trend in my thinking lately. I think I have it narrowed down. Each conflict, particularly regarding school (both my own and regarding my kids), that I have had recently has centered around a particular topic. Respect. I do not feel respected or even acknowledged for my experience and knowledge. I am proud of the learning and growing I've done in my life and am naturally kind of a know-it-all when it comes to sharing knowledge. I try to reign myself in in social situations. Aside from close friends who know I'm weird, I try not to be too bossy or "well I know more than you, you should take my advice". I'm pretty successful at this. However, when ASKED my opinion I sort of expect to be valued for it. If you ask me, I figure, then you think I have something to offer, right? So why ask my opinion if your intention is to de-value it or worse, ignore it altogether? The problem with this dilemma is that it is many-faceted. Regarding my own education, I need to realize that these instructors don't really care what I think, they just need a way to give me a grade or 2. Sad, but true. I'm sure there are instructors out there who are genuinely interested in free thought, but generally speaking, this is not the case. Fine, I can do the minimum amount of work to get an A and maintain my gpa (of 3.9 thankyouverymuch). In regards to my children's education I need to realize that I do NOT know it all. I know some. Not even a lot. I have LOTS to learn. I am working on shutting up and watching and listening. This is somewhat difficult because this school requires and WELCOMES parental involvement (what a concept) so the urge is to jump in with my .02 at every turn. I do have some good ideas, but others are better. So there is a line to walk there, and that's ok. I expect to tip from side to side on any given occasion. In regards to birth and raising children, I'm a total know-it-all. I cannot, however, in good conscience, keep my mouth shut most of the time. If you are allowing a 6-wk-old to cry for half an hour in a crib at night in an attempt to get them to sleep on their own I'm going to say something (and I'm going to mean it). If you are scheduling a c-section because your baby is too big, I'm going to suggest you do more research. What you don't know CAN kill you, and it probably WILL harm you. I don't have all of the answers, but I'm no dummy. If you know the risks behind c-section and you choose one anyway, more power to you. That's just fine with me. It's people who think c-sections are safer than natural delivery, or who don't know that you can have serious complications that I'm out to educate. I usually don't offer my opinion unless you ask, but if you ask you'll likely get more info than you thought even existed. This is also something I'm working on. I feel passionately about some things, and I need to share that info with gentleness and grace without losing the passion. A work in progress.
On a totally unrelated note, those no-ride underwear (fruit of the loom I think) are AWESOME. They really work. They really do not ride. I'm going to stock up first chance I get just in case they discontinue them. As it was it was hard to find the size and style I wanted. I must not be the only one glad to see them on the market.
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