Except for a visit from Dawn, today pretty much stinks. If she hadn't come over I'd be locked in a closet for sure. I can't even really describe WHY it's been crummy. When I look at the events of the day I've certainly had MUCH worse.

I had to make an appointment for dh's vasectomy. I called last week. They told me which office the doc does them in on which days. It's ridiculous, he's here on that morning and there on this morning and it's stupid. So we, as are most people I assume, are trying to make it so that he takes the least time off of work as he can and still have enough recovery time before having to return to work. When I tried to schedule for Friday afternoon last week they told me doc is at some place on Friday afternoons and that they schedule there from some other office. She took my number and promised to return my call. I didn't hear from them so I called today. They swear they called me. They didn't. But anyway, according to this lady they don't do Friday afternoons but they can do mornings but not THAT Friday morning because they're booked (which is why I needed to schedule LAST WEEK, grrrr). They can do Thursday. They only do Thursday afternoons and Friday mornings. So instead of doing a friday afternoon and having the whole weekend plus the whole 2-day holiday he has to take half of Thursday and all of Friday off entirely. That sucks, but fine. It' took me 3 hours of playing phone tag to get this organized but it's done and it looks like he can do it without causing to much chaos at work. *frustrating*

Then, I can't find the paperwork he brought home about the vasectomy. It's a big envelope and his prescription for the meds. It's nowhere. I've looked all over. Unless it's somehow in the car, it's vanished. I'm dreading having to call and have them call in the script. I can imagine the fiasco. What stinks about losing the paperwork is that *I* lost it, lol. I was the last one to have it and it's gone so I must have put it down somewhere weird and who knows when it will turn up. *frustrating*

Our house payment is due today and I can't make it. We simply don't have it. Our mortgage is adjusting as of January first so we'll have to make a new agreement anyway but in the meantime we technically broke the last agreement. Tax returns and student loans will dig us out and hopefully for the last time, but the adjustment of the mortgage rate is going to kill us quickly. I'm dreading handling that problem since it means trying to refinance in this terrible mortgage climate. I'm hoping the new government program can help us, but not holding my breath. *stressful*

It's raining. The weather forecast changes by the fracking minute here and I can't keep up. Yesterday we had an ice storm warning (never did get any ice) with promises of ice over night. I cancelled my plans for today anticipating being stuck at home and safe but by midnight last night we'd already reached our low of 36 and temps were climbing. The forecast, in a matter of minutes, went from ice to temps today near 60. Now it's just raining, which started just as my kids got dressed to go outside. So, no afternoon tea break for me. I did the unthinkable and plopped them in front of the television with cheetos. It was all I had, lol. I needed a break, some space. *anticipating meltdown from too much tv and cheetos*

The fridge is growling. Not sure what that's about but it can't be good. It has to hold on until February. It HAS to, lol. I'm not giving it any other option, lol. *a worry*

Granny is in the hospital. She broke her hip :(. She's 101 years old. She'll have to go into a nursing home which is breaking my MIL and her sisters' hearts. She's been living at her youngest daughters house but obviously can't do that any more. She'll be released on Thursday and go straight to a nursing home/rehab facility. I hate nursing homes and I don't want her to die there. I wish she had died peacefully in her sleep at home. I know everyone is thinking this, but I'm the only one gutsy enough to say it. A minor concern a bit on the selfish side is that I was her caregiver one day/week which I got paid for. It wasn't much but it was usually gas and fun money. I looked forward to having that money to do what I needed to do (and occasionally what I wanted to do). With 2 weeks to go until Christmas this was somewhat bad timing on that front. I probably shouldn't have been, but I was counting on that money. Then I feel bad for thinking like that. Poor granny. Also, this means holiday plans are up in the air. Christmas Eve is normally at Aunt Mary's house. I don't know if that will change, if it will be cancelled, what. Even if it still goes on it will be sad because Granny will be in the nursing home. Maybe she can come home for the afternoon? I think I'll suggest that, or even spend one night. She's so confused though that a change in routine like that is awful for her. So I have to have tentative holiday plans in case those plans fall through. Luckily our main holiday celebration is several days before so the family plans are icing on the holiday cake. But who wants cake with no icing???

I can't believe I'm doing this but I think I'm going to go back to WIC hell. WIC here is hell. I know it's meant to be helpful but mostly it's just not. What I really need is a breast pump. I can't afford one, insurance won't cover one, so WIC it is. I fully anticipate getting in there, jumping through their hoops, and discovering that they don't actually HAVE any pumps. Perhaps I can call and ask for the LC before attending this appointment. I think I will do that tomorrow. Other than the breast pump the cereal will be vaguely helpful, but the .99 bag of carrots, a can of tuna and more cheese than humans should consume in a year every month are more a nuisance or a slap in the face than anything. Maybe I should say I'm feeding formula and get the formula then sell it so I can rent a pump or buy real groceries. OK, that would technically be wrong, but come on. A formula feeding mom gets about $75 worth of formula every month in addition to the milk, cereal, cheese, peanut butter and juice. A breastfeeding mom gets a bag of carrots and a can of tuna fish in addition to the foods offered to everyone. For a program concerned with helping women and children at "nutritional risk" I see a big gaping hole here, how about you? Add to that the knowledge that SOME WIC programs offer vouchers for the farmers market but mine doesn't and now I'm just plain old mad. Fresh fruits and veggies, now that is what I call helpful. If I got the formula though I'd have to sit through those stupid "don't eat raw meat" classes. The "how to properly wash your hands" class would be on the agenda too. Yeah, not sure that's worth the $50 a month I'd make selling the formula.

Whoo, am I in a mood or what?