First, my apologies to anyone trying to conceive, wishing they could ttc, battling infertility, etc... . I do realize how this post may sound to some of you and I apologize, but at this moment I am thinking selfishly.
Last night was the first time EVER in our 3-oops-children lives that there has been an accident, a goof, a recognizable situation in which pregnancy could occur. I won't go into details but the realization of the problem resulted in a stream of cuss words from both of us, also diminishing the absolute fun and love that had just happened.
There is a plus side to this situation and I am hoping the lesson sent by the gods to me is along these lines: I am not unhappy. I am actually extremely nervous about another pregnancy. I do not want to be pregnant. I am not longing for another pregnancy. This is a revelation, the passing of a test. I am ok being done. I am OK being done.
Whew, wipes her brow.
Unfortunately, I am also incredibly nervous. What if I'm pregnant???? OMG my mama friends, WHAT IF I GET PREGNANT. I am flipping out. I even contemplated the morning after pill but it would dry my milk supply, and it would be a form of abortion, and I could never do that, but I thought about it.
Dh, well, he's just pretending it never happened. Oh man, this next few weeks could get interesting.
2 comments:
Wow! Hope it all goes OK. Maybe in the grand scheme of things it was just that, to let you know that you are OK with being done. Hopefully that's it!
Me too, my friend, me too. I actually chuckled about the circumstances leading up to the scare, so hopefully I can just relax for a bit and wait and see.
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