Oh...My... (Insert deity name here)

If these chldren survive the day I will be surprised. The morning started with fighting and crying, got a little better when I finally kicked the kids out of the house, continued with Zella following me around and crying, and kicked up a notch when all children came inside. They were covered in mud (yeah, so much for NO MUD TODAY huh?). I sent them to the bath where they fought, bit, kicked, and threw things at each other. I instructed them to wash their faces so they could get out which resulted in that fake crying that REALLY grates on your nerves. I tried talking to them nicely but they just picked up the "he hit me, she threw stuff at me, well he tried to bite me" so I shut the door and walked away. I waited to go back in until the crying stopped, 20 minutes. "He's giving me a headache, she won't let me use the washcloth (there are 2, what's the problem?)" so I left again. Finally they figured I meant it and washed. They're fighting with each other over couch space. As soon as piggly winks is over it's upstairs for a "rest". I told them they had to stay up there for a half hour. They have no idea how to tell time so they're staying until I'm good and ready to let them down the stairs. I also instructed them to kill each other upstairs if they so desired, just as long as I don't hear about it. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm being totally sarcastic. Really I'm just a frazzled and frustrated mess of a mama who isn't sure she's going to survive the last 4 days of the semester. Dh is as on my nerves as the kids are. Perhaps I'm just tired. Being a single mother who is recently a mama for the 4th time has a way of causing tiredness, ya know?

Just now my 2yo has begun grabbing my hands from the computer and screaming "I want mommy", waking the baby. She wants milkie, not gonna happen. Milk bar is closed to anyone over the age of 1 month. Argh. I'm so over being mama today.

If you post a comment to this post, it had better include a you-tube or other hilariously funny video or website or story or I'm deleting it so you can try again and follow the directions this time. :P.